unless something drastically positive happens remarkable soon, i will be homeless in less than a month. 

yay me.

i just want to lay down and quit. 

ARGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH

december last (2008) my cousin and i decided to try cohabitation.  i was in a rather difficult spot as my car was inoperable and i had to get back and forth to work which was a good 20 miles away.  she had a car and was working on getting a job, and was willing to be my transportation.  i was also in a rather difficult jam because i was living across the street (literally) from my lover of the time, and things were going south quickly in that relationship.  now, i'm not the most responsible person in the world.  bills are up there in the queue of needing money, but sometimes gas and food comes first in order to keep making money to pay said bills.  make sense?  and my cousin is about as good with money as i am.  that said, however, things went fairly decently for a while.


she helped me get through a very messy and painful break-up.  she got a job.  i lent her a fairly large sum of money with the intent being it would be paid back when it was feasible.  not a bad idea, after all she's family... and family doesn't screw over family... right?  o hush!


the cousin got a job 30 miles from home, in the exact opposite direction of mine.  eh, it made things stressful for me to get to work, but it still worked cuz i was able to catch rides with co-workers for some of the nights.  also helped that i work nights and the cuz works days.  rent was occasionally late because we pretty much live a hand to mouth existence, but things were still going fairly well.  we got along fabulously, and were able to talk out any issues. 

she found a guy over by work, and started staying at his place on nights when i didn't work, leaving me to care for her animals.  not much of a problem, but slightly irritating.  then, almost a year after moving in, i got in an accident and totaled her car.  it wasn't my fault, the woman who hit me wasn't paying attention, but that didn't change the fact the car was a complete loss. 

she borrowed a car from her man so she could get back and forth, and as soon as i was able i also purchased a car.  she started being gone more than she was home.  to the point she was home maybe 4-5 days out of a month.  intense irritation.  left me to care for her animals, and would waltz in just long enough to complain i wasn't doing a good enough job of it.  now, mind you, she has a tiny lap dog who barks incessantly and an unspayed cat who comes into heat with loud frequency... both creatures incredibly vocal during the day, when i'm trying to sleep.  you did note 'trying', yes?

medical bills came up with my daughter.  expensive ones.  rent was late a few times.  ok, incredibly late.  i just didn't have the money when i needed to all the time.  we got everything caught up eventually, but it was expensive.

now, things are getting strained, but i'm still trusting.  i deal solely in cash, because of bad experiences with a checking account.  so, i don't keep a record of the cash i give her to pay bills, just a mental 'i owe yet' sort of thing.  yes i know, incredibly irresponsible, but i already admitted i'm bad with money.

end of june comes and she informs me we have 3 days to be out or have to pay almost $1500 for overdue rent.  what?!  in 3 days?  and, she only has $200.  i cashed in my stocks and borrowed the rest.  managed to cover it.  just barely in time. 

early july, she tells me she will no longer pay any late fees, and we need to pay rent on time.  no problem. 

it's now the end of august and she doesn't have rent for this month...STILL.

i can't afford to cover her again.  i just don't have it.

FML!!!!!!!

Inner Ramblings

It's been a long but nice day.  Caught up with some wonderful friends I hardly ever see, and did a little house cleaning on the side.